L – Love

“Love. So many things I have to tell you. But I’m afraid I don’t know how. Cuz there’s a possibility you’ll look at me differently…” – Musiq couldn’t have said it any better.

I’ve always been one to love. I love strong and I love hard, but sometimes I love secretly. I find it easier to deal with than to express it. There’s no feeling worse in the world than telling someone how you feel about them and it isn’t reciprocated. It’s like daggers twisting in your heart only to be stomped on upon the removal of the blade. It almost leads you to hate.

“But hate ain’t driving me away. Cuz I am love, and I’d love to stay.” – Jackson 5

“Tell the angels no. I don’t wanna leave my baby alone. I don’t want nobody else to hold you, it’s the chance I’ll take. Maybe I’ll stay, Heaven can wait.” – Michael Jackson

I want to believe myself to be a hopeless romantic, but I’m a hard woman to get to know. A very limited few have been able to get through that barrier, and those very few have remained on that side of the barrier, regardless of how hard I try to force them out. It’s an internal mental struggle. To love something or someone that doesn’t belong to you and to be genuinely happy with their happiness, success, etc. is a skill that not many have mastered. Not even I have mastered it, but I’m getting pretty close to it. I believe love is real when it’s unconditional. I believe in soulmates that don’t have to be married/in a relationship… but I guess that means that no matter how much I deny it or put on the nonchalant attitude, I truly believe in love.

I used to romanticize and fantasize over a love like Anakin and Padme… but the love story (and I am FAR from a chick flick lover) that I think defines my definition of love, non-stop attempt at staying with someone despite what obstacles have been put in front of you comes from The Adjustment Bureau. (Matt Damon) Made me pick up the pieces and decide that when it’s time to love like that again, to have no reservations.

Still the truest testimony of love comes from my favorite singer, songwriter… Stevie Wonder.

“As today I know I’m living but tomorrow. Could make me the past and that I mustn’t fear. For I’ll know deep in my mind, the love of me I left behind. Cuz I’ll be loving you always.” – Stevie Wonder

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